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Meditations on the Fall
billyblandlegs
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(2016)


"Home is where the privacy is. Draw all the opaque curtains, button the hatches, and with the whispering drone of the air conditioning masking all the sounds of the outside world, you are no longer cheek to jowl with the random activities aboard the neighbor craft. You could be in a rocket beyond Venus, or under an icecap." -- John D. Macdonald, Deep Blue Goodbye, Travis McGee #1





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Nilsson's "Knnillssonn" with two cases of Beer Thousand. Living in an attached unit to a former TV * VCR * REPAIR that now just stored hundreds of pieces of discared motel furniture. Ed said I could take a nightstand. I had just distilled 10 years worth of the detritus that collects when you have a home -- when you are in the same place for a long time -- into 142 square feet. I called it Lil Versailles. It was in Forest City and you had to step down off a tree trunk to get to my door. It's best quality though was that it was so cramped it sort of felt like living on a houseboat. I had some extant nautical decorations (an old wooden barometer, you know, for hurricanes) and a Murphy bed and at first even played some harbor sounds from the internet. At the time I thought it might be the worst point in my life, but almost immediately after I realized it may actually be one of the best.

I was in the belly of the whale.
Or I was in a capsule on top of a rocket.












I still couldn't stop thinking about her but I had to. Ed made me take his cable. For the first time in nearly ten years there was cable running through the little crate sized TV I won on a game show as a boy. On Monday January 5th and early in to the morning of the Epiphany, the holiday that commemorates the three gifts of the wise men, Late Show started: "From the Hague! International City of Peace and Justice! It's the Late Show with David Letterman!" From the Hague! If I'd had a hat on it'd have blow right off. And then the next night, again, from the Hague. On the third night I couldn't wait to find out if the the show was coming to us from the Hague. I made appointment television and at 11:35 it goes dark and, "FROM EL PASO TEXAS! HOME OF THE WORLD'S LARGEST RESERVE OF HELIUM GAS! IT'S THE LATE SHOW WITH DAVID LETTERMAN!" This was not mentioned in any of that summer's tributes and retrospectives.















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I'm trying to put together a "fall playlist" songs that are autumnal, but not spooky. I've also been trying to organize/orient my brain towards autumnal things. But it keeps getting hot out. My brain feels like its on the cusp of something but its too scattered to make any sense right now. I've got fragments of Emerson, New England, Kerouac, Salem, Plymouth Rock. I'm trying my best to embrace the Northeast of the time being.

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